When I interviewed Rory Miller for the show, he made an important point. We spend a lot of time thinking about how we act, how we think, how we observe, and how we might defend ourselves. That’s good, but at the same time we don’t often think about the bad guys. What’s going on in their minds?
To really keep ourselves safe, we need to think about them in three different ways. What do they want? What are they afraid of? How do they operate? By knowing these things, we can focus our safety efforts for our family.
What Do the Bad Guys Want?
At the most basic, there are two kinds of bad guys. Resource predators want your stuff. Process predators want you. It goes deeper, of course. Some resource predators just want something they can sell for their next drug fix. Others want specifically cell phones, or laptops, or cash, or jewelry. Some process predators want a small victim who’s easy to cow and intimidate. Others want to make a trophy of somebody who looks big and athletic.
And we can take it one step further. Most predators are good at what they do, which means they’ve identified the kind of person most likely to have what they want. They have a type. For example:
A smash-and-run mugger who just wants easy money is likely to target women and small men wearing nice clothes.
A woman who wants to steal money might target men who look like they’re in town on business, especially drunk men who meet that description.
A group of young men out to feel tough might target other young men in numbers smaller than their own.
Step one in setting up your own safety profile is understanding what kinds of bad guys consider you a target.
Example. I’m a large, aging jock who moves like he’s trained for a long time. Also, I wear no jewelry and don’t spend much on clothes. Mostly, I need to worry about three kinds of bad guys. Aggressive panhandlers might approach me in front of my wife and kids because they think I won’t want to look cheap in front of them. Women running a scam or rolling drunks might focus on the aging jock part, trying to trick me into letting down my guard when I think “the old man’s still got it.” Some process predators looking to feel tough might also zero in on the aging part, thinking they could take the middle-aged guy and win points because I look like I’m still in shape.
My list is much smaller than many other peoples’ lists. Who’s on yours?
What Are the Bad Guys Afraid Of?
All bad guys are afraid of getting caught, and getting hurt. They’re also afraid of whatever pressures push them to do bad things, and often that fear outweighs the first ones I just mentioned. The trick is to make sure you present in a way that emphasizes the fears of getting caught or hurt. Some of the universal ways to do this include:
Staying visibly alert by looking around at eye level
Moving with confidence: arms swinging, medium gait
Not looking at our phones while out and about
Staying sober and off drugs in public
Keeping in shape
Beyond that, you can look at your list of personal predators and make some strong predictions about specific things they might be afraid of. This forms the beginning of a personal safety plan.
Examples: That aggressive panhandler fears little, because it would be illegal for me to attack him, but knows he can’t spend too much time on any one person. That drunk rolling woman likely fears physical attacks and the police. The process predator who wants the fight fears being made to look or feel weak and foolish. Each of these fears presents a potential strategy for avoiding their notice, or escaping them if they begin to make contact.
How Do the Bad Guys Operate?
Each kind of bad guy who might target you has a playbook. Many of these playbooks are fairly common knowledge: things you can look up in interviews and research papers. This is where you do your research into the kinds of criminal who might target you, and work out the sorts of attacks that are most common.
Once you know the way your most likely predators operate, you can come up with a specific response. That response starts with presenting as the living embodiment of those fears we just talked about, but also includes what to watch for, how to avoid it, and what to do if it looks like it’s about to start.
Example in depth: an aggressive panhandler isn’t likely to rely on physical intimidation with somebody like me. Instead (like I mentioned earlier), he wants me to hand over money to not look cheap. So his plan will be to get in my space and loudly demand money, putting on a show for the people with me. My plan starts early. I have a rule about people who ask for money. I carry around some singles and fives in public, and anybody who’s trying gets paid. They could be playing the guitar, juggling, selling flowers or fruit. Doesn’t matter. If you’re trying, you get paid. People just asking for money get nothing. My wife and kids know this policy, so I have no fear at all that they’ll think I’m cheap when I refuse an aggressive panhandler. His strategy is completely disarmed, and he’ll move on to a softer target when he sees his plan isn’t working.
Time to Do Some Profiling
All right. Your turn. Take some time. Do some research. Ask some experts. Answer these three questions for each member of your family. You can make this as formal or informal as you like, but this kind of preparatory work can help your family feel safer, and be safer, for the rest of your lives.
If you haven’t yet, check out the full interview with Rory here…it’s worth the listen. He remains one of the most knowledgeable and intelligent people writing about self defense.