Alert readers know I have an extensive background in martial arts and self-defense. I think about that stuff a lot, both from the POV of a scared parent and from the POV of what I might do if my family were attacked. I also teach a lot of folks about weapons for self-defense.
Today, I want to introduce you to my favorite personal defense weapon. But before I do that, I want to talk about reality and weapons. There are five points you need to consider:
Weapon Training is Lots of Fun
Doesn’t matter if you’re fencing, getting range time, working double sinawali with a stick in each hand, or working knife patterns. It’s fun, and done right can improve your martial prowess and your development as a human being. This is great, but I think it gets in the way sometimes of really thinking about the applied reality of using a weapon on another human being, even a bad guy who arguably has it coming or objectively will do harm if not stopped with a weapon.
There Are Very Few (If Any) Experts on Weapons for Parents
Maybe none. The overwhelming majority of weapons teachers fall into two camps: martial artists who train with weapons, and high-tier military or police experts. Martial artists rarely (if ever) get into actual fights with the actual weapons they train with. Those military and police experts use their weapons, but rarely (if ever) in the context or with the mindset of a parent. This makes it very, very hard to get realistic training and good advice about using weapons as a family protector.
You Must Know Your Capacity
Rory Miller draws a line between capability and capacity. Capability in this case is your skill with a weapon: how much you know, how fast you can cut, how accurately you can shoot. Capacity if your ability to use that weapon on a live human being, without hesitation, in the moment it matters. This bears deep thinking, and there’s no shame in admitting that you’re not prepared to cut anybody. This is important because the bad guys have the capacity to use weapons, and to use your weapon on your family if you hesitate.
You Must Practice Deployment, Not Just Use
Using a weapon is one part of the equation. Getting to your weapon while flooding with adrenaline, and then putting it to use is a whole other skillset — but one you must have if you plan to use a weapon. That means not just shooting at the range, but drawing and fire quickly and with accuracy. It means getting your hand in your purse, around the pepper spray, and out pointed in the right direction swiftly and unerringly. This takes practice above and beyond the fun stuff.
You Must Know the Law
It’s on you to know what you can carry, how it’s legal to carry it, and what the law says about using that weapon on a human in self defense. Without that knowledge, you set yourself up for jail time and a losing civil suit even if the situation was a bad guy about to do bad things to you.
Put those five things together and there’s not much to recommend carrying a knife, gun, baton, or other weapon when it comes to the reality of protecting your child. The risks usually outweigh the benefits, and cases of a weapon being taken away and used on a victim are depressingly common (see “You Must Know Your Capacity”).
All that said, though, here’s my go-to weapon to carry on the day to day:
Yep. A modern, LED flashlight made out of airplane aluminum. Here’s some stuff to consider about these:
They’re Lightweight and Easy to Carry
Seriously. These will fit in your pocket and weigh next to nothing. Also, they don’t have pointy bits that can nick your fingers when you’re digging out your phone.
They’re Not That Violent…
You’re not going to kill anybody with this, or even permanently injure them. It’s a good option for that capacity question I mentioned above. With some training and dedication, you can use them to give somebody a very bad day, but they’re not the same emotional burden as a knife or gun.
…But They’ll Give You 30 Seconds
These things are so bright they’ve been shown to stun (briefly) moose and grizzlies. In dark conditions, flashing somebody in the eyes will leave them blind for 30-60 seconds. That’s more than enough time for you to get out of harm’s way, or to turn the tables if escape is impossible.
They’re Hard to Use Against You
Even if the bad guy takes it away from you, all he’ll do with it is shine it in your eyes…which stings, but isn’t life threatening.
They’re Useful for Stuff Other Than Violence
This might be my favorite part. Flashlights help you see, which you’ll need far more often than you’ll ever need a weapon.
So yeah, that’s my favorite carry weapon these days…especially since I’m overseas in countries where I’m unfamiliar with the laws around carry weapons and deploying weapons in self defense. Consider picking one up and playing with it, see how it feels.
One last thing: you can spend hundreds of dollars on super-tech tactical flashlights, or you can get to for something like 15 bucks on Amazon. As weapons one is about as good as the other. As flashlights, they’re pretty much equal as well. The cheaper model costs less, so you can have several, and you don’t mind if you break one during practice.