I have at least one other blog post and several videos on the YouTube channel about the importance of situational awareness…but situational awareness comes at a risk.
If you practice awareness (or teach your kids awareness) from an operational standpoint, listening to Navy SEALS, veteran cops, and similar high-speed, low-drag combat types, you’re going to exhaust yourself. The “head on a swivel” tactical meerkat approach to paying attention is appropriate to people with missions, who can then go off duty when they get back to base, or clock out at end of shift.
It doesn’t work so well for parents, because our mission lasts (at least ) 18 consecutive years. And if we build the habit of that kind of situational awareness in our kids, we’re setting them up for a scary and fatiguing life.
If Not That, Then What? What Kind of Awareness Keeps Us Safe?
I was lucky enough to interview the inimitable Dawn Armstrong, who teaches exactly this for a living. She says the key is to make awareness not a mission priority, but a simple habit…and to make sure you’re not on high alert finding baddies in every corner, but rather mindful and curious about the world. This accomplishes two important things:
It sets up your awareness as a way to spot not just the bad, but the beautiful, inspiring, and hilarious.
It makes paying closer attention subconscious, and less of a drain on your mental and emotional resources.
Dawn also went on to talk with me about some games and activities you can play with your kids to help them internalize those habits of awareness and curiosity without scaring the pants off of them. Here are three of my favorites.
Look Three Ways
You’re already teaching your kids 2/3s of this one:
Look both ways before you cross the street.
You’ve known it long enough that you do it automatically, whether you’re crossing that street on foot, on your bike, or while driving. It’s second nature to you.
Now, add a third pass. As you approach the street, glance to the left, then to the right (or right, then left if you’re in England or some other place they drive on the other side of the road), looking for traffic. Before you step out, go back to your right, this time scanning for anything else that grabs your attention.
This third pass looks for people on the other side of the street, cool murals on nearby buildings, and adorable stray cats who need emergency petting. You’ll be surprised how quickly you and your kids can make this automatic, and by how much more interesting it makes your world.
The Add-On Game
Choose a person, building, or object your family encounters on your regular day.
The first person to play describes that person using one adjective or descriptive noun. “A man.”
The next person to play adds one point to the description. “A tall man.”
The next person to play adds another point. “A tall man older than mom.”
Keep going, rotating through your family, until somebody can’t come up with anything. After some practice, you’ll end up with something like “A tall, thin man older than mom wearing a red shirt, blue jeans, running shoes, and a baseball cap. He had a beard, but no mustache.”
As you first introduce this game, do it for something that stays in your field of vision, for reference. After your family has got it more or less figured out, you can do it for stuff already in your rearview.
You can also practice this game on your own. Look at each person you pass while you walk, and describe them to yourself with one or two key elements like red shirt or long hair.
Exits, Mate?
This one is pretty popular among operators I know, though again I can’t stress enough how inappropriate that kind of awareness is for parents and kids. Still, this one’s fun and builds another of those “awareness and curiosity” habits. It goes like this.
When you sit down at a restaurant, or have an idle moment in a store, have your kids close their eyes, then ask them where the exits are. Have the youngest point to the main exit, and older kids describe or point to a secondary way out of the place.
Knowing how to get out of any room you enter is important safety information, but it’s also a way to build curiosity and knowledge about architecture and building design.
Pro tip: if you’re in a restaurant, there’s always an exit through the kitchen. Keep that one in your back pocket so you can impress your kids if you get stumped with this game.
Teach Through Games
Games are one of the best ways to teach kids anything. They learn things faster and retain it longer when they learn through play, than in formal teaching settings or a lecture at the dinner table.
I’d bet real money you can come up with a dozen more after reading the examples above. If you’d like further inspiration, check out Dawn’s interview below:
Tactical meercat courtesy of randy-henderson.com